Already a few months past since I watched my last WWE show besides NXT. I was committed to actual writing work for money, so didn’t have the time. But I did make time to watch this newest edition of SmackDown Live because, come on, you can’t miss one of the rare occasions of Dean Ambrose playing the referee in WWE. I’ve got to say a few bits about that and also why I hardly enjoy WWE these days. Have fun!

Dean-Ambrose_Collage

After a long time I watched another WWE show besides NXT. For just one reason: Dean Ambrose was back as the cocky referee. WWE did that only for the second time and they miss out big time because they don’t do it more often. It was fun like fun should be and that’s what wrestling is supposed to be. I said, I watched the whole show, just to see if I missed something, how the whole show came together, if it’s the same things that still annoy me, etc. What I noticed right from the start is that I’m probably part of a very, very – very tiny little minority that just can’t stand Dolph Ziggler because I really hoped that he would lose to The Miz and consequently lose his WWE contract. But instead, Dolph Ziggler now is the new Intercontinental Champion, the audience hailed him with a “You deserve it” chant and I couldn’t have been more annoyed by both of it. So, let’s just jump straight into this episode to see what else wasn’t much fun for me – and what was, of course! Let’s not forget the fun!

The Miz couldn’t be more right

When The Miz came out with Maryse after the Dolph Ziggler claimed he deserved to be the new IC title holder, the first thing he did was being silent and mourn the death of the Intercontinental Championship. Usually, I find The Miz highly annoying but when his foe is called Dolph Ziggler – I can’t help but cheer him like a babyface. He was right with mourning the poor title because seeing Dolph Ziggler with the belt doesn’t do anything for me. And The Miz was probably right as well with calling the IC title the most prestigious of SmackDown Live when it was in his hands.

Because, let’s face it: Dean Ambrose did great when he chased the WWE World Championship and when he finally got it, it was great, too. But holding the title didn’t do anything good for him because the people were so used to Dean Ambrose chasing a that championship that they were kind of confused by seeing Dean Ambrose holding the championship. Now, I’m not doing the WWE’s job in writing their characters the best way possible – they won’t listen to me anyway – but I’m just saying: next time, Dean Ambrose gets this WWE World Championship, he needs to turn heel. It’s time for him really. People still love to cheer AJ Styles, despite WWE trying their hardest to make them boo the guy. And there are lots of people who – for some strange reason – already boo Dean Ambrose. Yes, the man did a great job as a referee in making people cheer for him again but he was his cocky self again that best works as a heel. So, just do us a favour and pull the trigger, WWE.

But more of this and about Dean Ambrose I will write a little later. Now let’s just return to Adolf and Mizzy. And we got to see some footage about The Miz mourning his loss at No Mercy with Dolph Ziggler mocking The Miz because he showed his feeling and appeared like crying. That’s good auld Vince McMahon patriarchic behaviour: a man doesn’t cry and if he does, he’s weak – or in WWE terms: he’s a heel. If that’s not funny to you, I don’t know what it! Of course, the stupid audience chanted “You were crying” at The Miz. Of course, they did. That’s what good auld sheep would do. What a shame that Bray Wyatt didn’t come out to mock the audience for their sheepish behaviour. Instead, The Miz sent The Spirit Squad after Dolph Ziggler and those two clowns had a 2-on-1 handicap match against Dolph Ziggler. Of course, Dolph Ziggler won after a middle distanced match of 6:45 minutes. The most exciting part about it for me was Mauro Ranallo yelling “Oh my god, he killed Kenny” as a nice little reference to South Park. Oh, and The Miz beating up Dolph Ziggler after the match – highly entertaining! Unfortunately, SmackDown Live tag team champions (LOL!) Rhyno and Heath Slater made the save for Dolph Ziggler. So, I guess, there will be a six-man tag team match next week on SmackDown Live.

Officials, the women and tag team action (kinda)

Afterwards we got a few announcements regarding the coming Survivor Series Pay-Per-View that will have teams of five men, five tag teams and five women from RAW and SmackDown Live competing against each other in elimination matches. Then, SmackDown Live women’s champion Becky Lynch wasn’t able to defend her title against no.1 contender Alexa Bliss at No Mercy due to injury. But she will do so on 8 November 2016 when SmackDown Live comes to Glasgow, Scotland. Prior to the next match between Carmella and Naomi (what an epilepsy inducing entry!) we saw a little backstage attack by Carmella on Nikki Bella.

The match itself started during the commercial break, so that’s all you need to know about how important this match was to the SmackDown Live officials! From the match we hardly saw three minutes that weren’t that bad but the crowd wasn’t that much into it. I even heard boos towards Naomi. Then Nikki Bella came out together with three referees (why? the men always come out alone for distraction), distracted Carmella, so Naomi got the win via roll-up. Alexa Bliss watched everything via a monitor, she was cocky afterwards and therefore got a match against Naomi for next week on SmackDown Live.

After this match, we got a singles match between Jimmy Uso and Chad Gable, of course with their respective tag team partners on their sides. And it was another very quick match that saw a roll-up by Jimmy Uso for the win with some assistance by his brother Jay. After that lower midcard shoveling we got a rather weird backstage promo with The Hype Bros and The Ascension. Another tag team match for later on, I guess, just to give the people time for a bathroom break.

The funniest match of the year and the smarks run rampant

Credit: temomi on Tumblr.
Credit: temomi on Tumblr.
But before we got to see said funniest match of the year, we had to go through AJ Styles trying to talk. Every time I listen to him, it’s just cringeworthy and I want to tune off the volume. But I thought it this way: for the good to happen I had to pay a sacrifice, so I listened. And I seriously felt physical pain. Man, AJ Styles just can’t talk. Period. It’s the same annoyance and pain I felt when I listened to lengthy Seth Rollins in-ring promos. It would have been easy to skip but like I said, I wanted to stand the pain to enjoy the good part even more plus after a long absence I had planned to watch the entire show. So, here I was left with bleeding ears and a hurting brain. Because AJ Styles sounds that forced that it’s just not believable what he’s got to say. And despite calling the audience a bunch of losers or stupid or else, they still cheered him. It’s ridiculous.

We can't wait for this match to start either...
We can’t wait for this match to start either…
Anyway, thankfully enough we didn’t have to go through a ten minute speech. It was cut much shorter. And AJ Styles wanted to give an opportunity to someone, since apparently he’s a fighting champion. But out came Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles obviously didn’t expect him. I don’t really dig the newest addition to Dean Ambrose’s face, this sort of beard he recently chose to grow out. It doesn’t suit him at all. For some strange reason, an 80s Tom Selleck moustache is something that suits Dean Ambrose’s face but not that ginger beard that is basically a copy from the AJ Styles beard. So, I’m not a fan and I hoped it was for the rumoured movie, Dean Ambrose has been talked for. But apparently the man himself doesn’t know anything about it, so it’s probably just a rumour.

Now, out came AJ Styles desired opponent. And of course I missed the arrival of James Ellsworth in WWE. The man with no chin and no visible wrestling ability apparently is the fan favourite now in WWE. Wrestling fans always had a thing for underdogs that look funny because they can associate with them. They see similarities, so they take James Ellsworth as some kind of Cinderella. He’s the Eugene of the PG era. On the other side, we’ve got the annoying smarks, of course, a bunch of very fat keyboard warriors who also got a podcast and a YouTube channel who lament about poor AJ Styles is being treated wrong by having to wrestle this lad, being ridiculed by Dean Ambrose as the referee, blah, blah, vomit, yawn, vomit, vomit, yawn.

Credit: wrestling-giffer on Tumblr.
Credit: wrestling-giffer on Tumblr.
All this talk basically is one reason why I’m not watching WWE any more. All this unjustified drama without any true reason just gets on my nerves. I mean, I was one of the people who used to moan about the treatment of several wrestlers in WWE. Some of them are already gone because they couldn’t stand it any more. Cesaro is still wasted on RAW while Dean Ambrose still has got those tags hanging from him like “Lunatic Fringe”, “crazy”, “Asylum”, etc. I still wish he could be back at his FCW persona, being the cocky heel with a deep background, getting more time to speak his mind and so forth. So, I was also moaning about Dean Ambrose not becoming WWE Champion like his ex-Shield team mates. And when he finally came there, I was happy. At least, this chase was completed. But then, WWE again was helpless in making Dean Ambrose a meaningful champion.

Credit: wrestling-giffer on Tumblr.
Credit: wrestling-giffer on Tumblr.
And what happened with the smarks at this point? They started to turn on Dean Ambrose, calling him annoying, too funny, doing the belt no justice, blah, blah. For the entire year and the entire year before, they demanded better treatment, the title, a heel turn and probably else for the man. But when he got there, mission probably was completed, so they went for another man they wanted on top. Of course, that had to be AJ Styles. I say, of course, because AJ Styles is just another ex-Indie guy who finally came to WWE to enjoy his last minutes of his in-ring wrestling career on top. I still don’t get the appeal. I find him annoying and not enjoyable at all. To be a complete wrestler, he needs to have good mic skills. And AJ Styles doesn’t.

But anyway, what I wanted to point out, I summarize here: Dean Ambrose probably lost a lot of fans during him being the lapdog for Roman Reigns and him only talking good things about the man. Smarks wanted a real split, hopefully a heel turn from Dean Ambrose on Reigns or vice versa. But the split between RAW and SmackDown was finished without bad blood between the ex-Shield members. For some reason, the smarks didn’t like the way Dean Ambrose stood by Reigns and it cost him in the end. I didn’t like it, too, but I’m still able to differentiate between the abilities of a wrestler and the poor writing of WWE shows and the lack of depth in most characters. Sometimes in my reviews I moaned about WWE probably thinking that wrestling fans aren’t able to remember stuff from a fortnight ago.

[David Otunga said that this would be Dean Ambrose’s first match as a referee. Erm, no. He already officiated a match (probably matches) as Jon Moxley. And he also officiated his first match in WWE between Dolph Ziggler and Daniel Bryan on the RAW episode from 23 March 2015 – but, yeah, that was before David Otunga and almost two years ago – that’s like the Big Bang in wrestling terms!]

Credit: Temomi on Tumblr.
Credit: Temomi on Tumblr.
But now I think WWE is probably right. Because when I now read some smarks complaining about certain Dean Ambrose moves or the way he talks, the way he dresses, the way he walks or else, I wonder if they even watched the man in more than five matches. So, finally I came to the conclusion that smarks just like to complain – about basically anything. Because all those social media accounts only make sense if you create heat and act as if you are offended by the current program. And in case, the very character that you cheered for the longest time finally gets what you so long demanded, when you can’t complain any more that he’s being treated wrong, well, then you turn on the guy and complain that someone else doesn’t get what he deserves. So, as a rule – and the only rule for the IWC – this one stands forever: We are smarks, and we are only here to complain – even if we contradict ourselves.

Credit: Temomi on Tumblr.
Credit: Temomi on Tumblr.
Now, obviously this went longer than I initially planned for it to be. But I had to write it down somewhere. And this is the place. I probably still won’t watch WWE regularly again because I just have something else to do that consumes too much of my time. But when I see that Dean Ambrose has got a match as the referee or maybe he gets another title match that he wins – or if he finally turns heel – I will watch it. And I’m going to enjoy it. Why moan and argue about something that doesn’t have any deeper meaning? It’s entertainment – it’s fun. In the end, all those titles are fake, they weren’t earned, they were given to whom the officials think they deserve, not whom the fans think they should get. And still the smarks moan and argue when they should know better. And believe me, they do. They just moan and argue for a few clicks more. So, leave those pages and their owners moan and argue and just enjoy the ridiculous fun.

Like this match was that SmackDown Live General Manager Daniel Bryan finally made: AJ Styles vs James Ellsworth with the special guest referee Dean Ambrose. First of all, it took over two minutes until AJ Styles and James Ellsworth were able to make any physical contact. Most jobber matches would be already finished by this point. But Dean Ambrose somehow wanted to make sure that both competitors were perfectly prepared for this match. My brain already hurt from laughing at the end of this. And I don’t want to describe the whole match like I usually do. Because this comedy gold can’t be described. I simply put the whole segment in here for all to enjoy who don’t have the opportunity to watch it. The whole Dean Ambrose segment and the 9:25 minutes of “match” time in all their glory. Enjoy!

And as a little message to all the smarks out there who complained about this match: if you can’t enjoy this, if you can’t laugh your pants off while watching this – then something is wrong with you. Simple as that.

Believe it or not but this match wasn’t the main event – something else was still to come

First of all, AJ Styles had to complain backstage towards Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon. And probably because of this, next week James Ellsworth will have an actual title opportunity against the man. I’d choose Dean Ambrose as the special guest referee again to make Ellsworth the actual champion. Just imagine the tears and cries of the smarks. Haha.

But we also got some serious business to do when Bray Wyatt entered the ring together with Luke Harper who just returned from injury at No Mercy. Randy Orton currently got issues with Bray Wyatt, so we got a tag match between the Wyatts and Randy Orton with Kane. After 7:46 minutes this match was over but not before another a little Wyatt magic with making Kane disappear to replace him with Luke Harper, so Randy Orton was unable to tag. Bray Wyatt got Sister Abigail to win for his team.


In case you don’t get the reference in the title, just click here and laugh your pants off.

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